welcome

ouch

Unfortunately, Dave may be prounouncing my Dell Laptop's death today. Alas, even with a boot disc nothing. We think there is a bad sector on my hard drive. I am absolutely crushed about the photos I hadn't transferred to my external hard drive as well as the bookmarks I've lost. It never dawned on me to export them to a disc. I had recently done a huge transfer of files, but not recent enough. Since there is nothing I can do about it, I've just resigned myself to this hopeless situation. Oh well. The gluten free week was hell and I saw only a miniscule change in my psoriasis. Now I'm going to try the vitamin regime. Fish oil tablets 3x a day (3000 total), liquid vitamin B and Calcium suppliments and a good multi stress tab. I think my immune system needs a major boost and the fish oil is supposed to produce miracles. If this doesn't help the next step will be to illiminate red meat and sugar from my diet. I'm leaving out the fried foods for good because I always seem to get death like pains every time I eat them. My doctor says I may have a gallbladder problem. yippee! Being that the psoriasis is an immune thingy I am very hopeful about the vitamins helping. I do no want to go through another summer hiding my arms, even if "The Beaver" had it and didn't mind. I'd rather be flakey in the head. I had been working on some pictures I wanted to post but they are ggggoooonnnnneeeee! Hopefully I haven't erased the two XD cards with the rest of my pics on them. Cross your fingers for me! Ooooh I almost forgot...there is some awesome news. At work we finished the raffle to raise money for the local Food Bank. The grand total was $100!!! That means they can buy 700 pounds of food with what we are donating. The company I work for will also match the donation 100%~ YAY :)

Oh Come On Now

Publishing post: Percent done 0 % I had a post I had put a lot of time into...apparently Blogger didn't like it because the above is what I saw for about oh..a couple of hours. I guess I'm back to the days of composing in notepad first....just in case. Full post when I get home from work at 1 today..I have a voracious headache at the moment.

Big Changes

Well, I've decided I've had enough. I spent a lot of time over the past few days doing a lot of online research. I have had psoriasis for years and as of late it's really been getting on my nerves. In the past it has actually been bad enough to land me in the hospital with an infected sebaceous cyst. This is basically a sweat gland that gets blocked, in my case because of my skin problems, and gets infected. I ended up out of work for a month while healing from it. I have come to the decision, based on what I've read over the last several days, to go with a gluten free diet. It is going to majorly stink, but if it works, its well worth it. Friendly's was not fun this weekend LOL. It's been a couple of days now and I have noticed some improvement. The way I look at it, I need to lose weight anyway (an added benefit), so it's a pretty much win/win situation. Upon some further reading today, I may make some further changes to my diet as well. I had read that Cayce (no comments!) suffered from psoriasis for years, and had prescribed a diet which worked for a lot of people, and was very similar. He suggests also giving up sugar, red meat, fried foods, any high fat foods, chemical additives, tomatoes, tobacco, eggplant, peppers, white potatoes, and paprika. Raw and cooked veggies are a must which I love. The tabacco will probably be the last, although I know it should be the first. Also I don't know if I'm ready to make the committment to tomatoes, pepper and white potato! He does say yam and sweet potatoes are okay so that's a maybe. He also suggests drinking 6 to 8 glasses of water daily which I already do. A message board I was on this morning said to also try American Saffron tea and ground elm bark. That I will try but probably order online. I've been getting horrible stomach pains every time I've had anything fried lately, so I welcome that one. After buttered popcorn at the movies this weekend, I thought I was going to die. Same thing after having french fries and steak recently....so this will be a good change. All I can say is thank goodness a Wegmans just opened near me and they carry tons of Amy's brand meals. I already eat that brand but they have a rice flour pizza and vegetarian lasagna with rice flour (lunch today). They have a mac & cheese but I'm not willing to waste 400 calories on mac and cheese (yet). I loaded up on brown & regular rice flour for cooking as well as some pastas made from either a potato/soy/rice conbo and found cornmeal spaghetti (mmm). Oh and cornmeal cornflakes. I think dinner is going to be a big bowl of asparagus marinated in garlic and olive oil. I've been thinking a lot lately about the healthy organic diet I used to follow and missing it. You know, sometimes we need a wakeup call..I think my body sent me one and I have decided to listen. Mind, body, spirit balance here I come!

paper white

warped-flower, originally uploaded by andrealeev. blogger doesn't like my photos today! Thank goodness for flickr's "blog this"!

busy bee (ala best in show)

While spending too much time surfing yesterday, I found some fun links. They are at the bottom of the post. Please let it be known that I did also get several hours of housework done as well as make Dave Meatloaf, corn & mashed pots for dinner...mmm diner food! I am currently obsessed with cleaning. Specifically my white linoleum kitchen floor. This is bad because it will never ever be clean. I have a dog who I love dearly who loves to run in and out of the backyard all day. I must sweep it at least 3 times a day and always end up with a pile of dirt and hair. Grant you I spent 1 1/2 hours cleaning it yesterday (ocd) and this morning it has doggie footprints on it. Oh well. I did discover an amazing cleaning product. The magic eraser sponges rock! I think I used 6 of them yesterday. Every cabinet surface, the dishwasher, refridgerator, marks on the floor and the baseboards. I even cleaned the top of the fridge and the stove controls. I don't know whats in these things but they actually work like the commercial says. Now if only they'd work on carpet spots! I'm home for a couple of days and have been whittling away at my "to do" list. Today is: sweep again try to get the stupid sneaker marks off my floor strip the bed clean my bathroom (i think i have 25 bottles of shampoo and that many bars of soap in there) clean or recover my white livingroom footstool (dog w/wet feet barking at the aquarium) my bedroom closet (better set aside about 3 hours for that one) donate clothes Make soup for 10 fand a ricotta pie for church tonight I'm saving tomorrow for finishing my bathroom. I have to goo be gone the adhesive on the floor and lay the new self stick black & white checkered tile and paint the old paint that shows with the new smaller vanity we put in. Lastly, I have to empty the medicine cabinet (groan) and put the new one up. I will, in the near future, have to get new baseboards because the ones in there now abutted up to the old vanity. Friday is get rid of crap day. I swear that there has been this one box with miscellaneous junk in it sitting there for 2 months. I also want to use the edger vacuum to get the nice little carpet of hair at the edge of all the rooms and the places the regular vacuuming doesn't get. Saturday is yardwork..finally get the fill dirt laid and my herbs and veggies planted. Dave will help with that. Sunday is church and the diner afterwards..we usually do absulutely nothing else on Sundays which I like. Monday, which is my last day off I'd like to get in the spare room and go through all those boxes packed away in there and donate or throw stuff out! It has actually been so liberating doing spring cleaning! Well here are the links I promised: check your refund here: church sign generator: you can type anything you want on the sign! beautycheck: research showing what is conceived as attractive & unattractive facial features. gorgeous, bizarre, thought provoking photographs: see the human form blended with animals, etc. they use real human models and morph them ... amazing talent. brainyquote: really neat reference site. links for atlas, zip, geography, dictionary, encyclopedia, history, music and translation. census bureau: I found out there are people in Woodland Township (NJ Pines) near me that actually still use wood for heating and several houses with no kitchen, bathrooms or phones..actaully made me sad. It is fun to check out how your income, housing costs and commute compare to other people in your area. frank's hot sauce recipes: I made this and let me tell you...it was awesome. allrecipes: I think I should buy stock in this company..amazing recipe site. and lastly don't forget the hungersite!!!!! Have fun surfing...time to roll up my sleeves and get started!!!

Keeping Quiet

Keeping Quiet Now we will count to twelve and we will all keep still. For once on the face of the earth let's not speak in any language, let's stop for one second, and not move our arms so much. It would be an exotic moment without rush, without engines,we would all be together in a sudden strangeness. Fishermen in the cold sea would not harm whales and the man gathering salt would look at his hurt hands. Those who prepare green wars, wars with gas, wars with fire,victory with no survivors, would put on clean clothes and walk about with their brothers in the shade, doing nothing. What I want should not be confused with total inactivity. Life is what it is about; I want no truck with death. If we were not so single-minded about keeping our lives moving, and for once could do nothing, perhaps a huge silence might interrupt this sadness of never understanding ourselves and of threatening ourselves with death. Perhaps the earth can teach us as when everything seems dead and later proves to be alive. Now I'll count up to twelve and you keep quiet and I will go. Pablo Neruda (1904-1973), "Keeping Quiet" Extravagaria (translated by Alastair Reid) Jonathan Cape, London, 1972, pp.27-29 (original Estravagario, Editorial Losada, Buenos Aires, 1958) Silence can be so liberating...please take a moment today and be silent..allow yourself to think positive thoughts and be at peace. I found this poem at a lovely inspirational site wisdomportal.com worth a visit!

Classroom Connection: Bias and Prejudice

Classroom Connection: Bias and Prejudice Really great read I stumbled across on the internet highway today.

Its going to be a bumper year!

Its going to be a bumper year!, originally uploaded by andrealeev. oh boy oh boy...spinach, salad, rosemary, thyme, etc! time to play in the dirt.

Easter Choir

Easter Choir, originally uploaded by andrealeev. Dave was unaware of the anti-shake button on the camera...lol

Dave & The Easter Bunny

Dave & The Easter Bunny, originally uploaded by andrealeev. Breakfast with the Easter Bunny!

Julia Turns FOUR!

Julia Turns FOUR!, originally uploaded by andrealeev. Grandmom told her it was okay to stick her fingers in the biggest flower...This is not my mother...oh that's right grandchildren are different!

Things are looking up

I don't care if it is a temporary thing...because I feel great today..and I don't have time for a therapist! I hope everyone had as teriffic a weekend as I did! Busy, but fun. Saturday morning was breakfast with the Easter Bunny. He stopped by our church for pancakes before his busy weekend. The kids were just too cute. One little boy wouldn't get off his lap and actually fell asleep there. Sunday started with choir practice before the Easter Service, which was extremely well attended. I think it was triple normal attendance (wink wink). Later that day was Julia's 4th birthday party and Easter dinner at mom's house. It is so thrilling to watch a 4 year old get so worked up about cake (she was allowed to stick her finger in the big flower) and presents. She shrieked every time she opened a gift. I never get tired of the munchkin's excitement over everything..and I mean everything. Mom got the kids battery powered bubble blowers, and you would have thought they were just handed the world. Kids' giggling is so infectious! Tons of stuff to do including planting a lot of herbs and flowers. I had my own organicly grown chives in my eggs for breakfast and it was soooo good. I can't wait until the spinach gets going. I have oregano (too much), sage and chives from last year. I got 2 kinds of lettuce, thyme, rosemary, marjoram, parsley and strawberries this weekend. I also have the weeping pussy willow, hyacinths and white daffodills (sp?) to plant. The morning glories and red glads are starting to shoot up as well as a bunch of lilies. I was aboslutely surrounded by happiness and tremendous rebirth this weekend. That's why I am in such a good mood! I think I needed things put into proper perspective...what a wonderful way to have it happen. I do realize how truly blessed I am. I hope you are too! I leave you with a beautiful hymn we close with every week while holding hands: "Farewell, dear friends, stay safe, dear friends, have peace, have peace. We'll see you again, we'll see you again, have peace, have peace."

Confessions of a Restless Soul

Peace

Dave & I got an Easter card from Carol & Ron which read: Peace I leave with you My peace I give you. John 14:27 (NIV) The beauty of the words took me aback! Peace is my quest. It's funny too, because I have a silver peace charm that I wear because I subscribe to the belief that if the world were a more peaceful place, man would be so much better off. Here's the irony- I believe it & profess it, but deep inside I don't posess it. My inner thoughts are nonstop. Do this, call them, a phrase from a book, random workds, you name it. I have a very restless soul-I have always been hyperactive and have become used to this state of mental calamity. Several changes in my life, over the past year were positive and intentional with the hope of creating a sort of mental ohm. I have married the first person I have ever had a relationship with that I know truly and wholly loves me. I have no trust issues, nor a reason to. Dave is who he is- no hidden agenda. Sure we argue at times, but mostly due to the fact that we can both be intense about making our points - but there is never any fear that he will always love me and be there for me. There will be no angry final exit. The second change was going to part time work. While full time, I was miserable. I was at the worst point, out for stress, on antianxiety medication and in counseling. Dave was urging me to quit because it had such an impact on our homelife. After much consideration, I decided to go part time as a first step. The positive impact has been dramatic. We have learned how to budget, which is a definite plus since we lost approximately 30k per year. I have become much less materialistic and I like that. I have taken over running th house, which I enjoy as well. I seem to be busier now that I work less outside- go figure. But there is something very rewarding about having dinner ready when Dave gets home. Whe have "family time" now. This leads to the final change- we attend the church of the pastor who wed us in October. Our congregation is only about 20, so naturally we have gotten to know everyone pretty well. We love helping out whenever we can. I small church really relies on its members. We love our pastor as well - Dave because of his music & movie knowledge- especially Star Wars, and me for his speaking style, particularily his carefully chosen words (words are beautiful) and thinking & preaching outside the box. If he ever references "In Praise of Folly" by Erasmus I will fall out of my chair..nah maybe not- but what a great sermon topic that would be! In conclusion, I thout with all of these changes, would come a peaceful heart- alas not. What is the missing piece of the puzzle? Or is it my veryquest for that answer that busies my mind-refuses to let it be still. There are physical manifestations as well: Insomnia, grinding my teeth, migraines and my psoriasis was recently flared up pretty badly. My own skin is my enemy..plastic grocery bags give me contact swelling and it was actually painful to shower yesterday. I am intelligent enough to make the connection between the physical manifestations and the psychological issues. I have always been an anxious person. I do believe that for certain people medication does provide a respite from these demons, but I rebuke that answer for myself. I think I have a case of Lexapro in my cabinet that my Dr. wants me to take, but i won't. Instead, I subscribe to the belief that a balance of mind, body & spirit causes internal peace. I will not float through life half asleep to enjoy the benefit of a quiet mind. I want to feel it-if it suck at times or is painful to the touch, so be it. Via a myriad of accidents I have had, that by all rights should have- well snuffed me out I've changed. I do not posess a fear of my death. Parallel to that, though, is the nagging thought that I have some unyet discovered purpose in life. Something I have to do. Maybe that is the exact reason for my unrest. I find myself questioning my existence. Who am I to touch, what deed am I to carry out? And then there is the feeling that I am unworthy uf such a task- why me? The final dilemna is a sort of disconnection from those i interract with. I really miss my friend Rachel in San Diego. We connected so very much and she got me. She know I'd drop out for a week or two and would leave messages asking me to just let her know I was ok- nothing more. then'd we'd pick right back up where we left off. I miss discussing literature and art with her as well. I have one friend at my current job -who is now on a different shift-that can discuss Latin phrases and Roccoco art. One person- that makes for a lonely existence. A felling akin to when I was in Morocco for a month and knew 2 people who spoke english- I could understand enough Arabic & French to get the gist of the conversation, but felt so alienated. This is a bit like I feel now. I'm there and participating but feel a bit alone-this among a wonderful circle of people. Maybe I've answered my own question, and a friend was right when they suggested that I finish college. School excites me and is all consuming. hmmm. Dave's mom gave me a weeping pussy willow yesterday. It is supposed to grant wishes. The tag says that its flexability symbolizes resilience & inspires us to move with life rather than resis what we are feeling. Legend has it that if you tie a know in a soft branch and make a wish it will happen- once the wish is granted you are to untie the knot and thank the willow for the gift. Little did shw know wht a wonderful and timely gift this was- I can't wait to plant it. Peace

Morning Has Broken

(taken in my back yard at 6 am this morning-pretty isn't it?) "Morning has broken, like the first morning Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird Praise for the singing, praise for the morning Praise for them springing fresh from the word Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlight from heaven Like the first dewfall, on the first grass Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden Sprung in completeness where His feet pass Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning Born of the one light, Eden saw play Praise with elation, praise every morning God's recreation of the new day." (the link above will play the song) I have always loved this song. We sang it in church recently and I really had to restrain from breaking out into the style of Cat Stevens! Its funny, but now that I don't sleep, it has taken on a whole new meaning. I am hopeful with the start of each new day. Now on the surface, this comment obviously seems directly related to the lack of sleep, however it goes much deeper. (but yes when you are so very alone wide awake..dawn seems an eternity away) I am very thankful with each new day for much more spiritual reasons. Every day I am presented with the opportunity to be a better person. I have made an effort to find a minimum of one positive thing in a situation or person every single day. It may be someone letting me go first in line or discovering some new bud in my garden. All too often we concentrate on the negative, and have no problem sharing this with everyone around us. Why not do the same with positive thoughts. oh boy...I failed already today...had a tiff with my husband at breakfast...I need to really get a good nights sleep - I'm turning into a beastette! This is how I feel right this instant - me looking at the world from the outside- I will repeat to myself "let it go" until I am in a better mood

Quiet Please

Things to do at 4am when the house is silent Until something is missing from your life, you do not realise how precious it is. In my case it is sleep. It is amazing how quiet the house seems when you are the only one awake. Correction: the house is quiet, my mind is too loud. I have had insomnia on and off since I was in my teens. Just for fun throw night terrors and teeth grinding into the mix. If only I could determine the root I would banish it to hell. This may sound melodramatic to someone who has never suffered from the grip of insomnia, but let me tell you sleep deprivation is not pretty. It makes me a tad grumpy and I start forgetting important things. Ambian and Tylenol PM cannot even tame this beast. Of course I fall asleep but....boing its 4am and I am wide awake. I am even convinced that because at precisely 4 to 4:30 am consistently I awake, this has some symbolic meaning. See, it makes you nuts. Last night, I thought choir practice was after the 7 pm service, but no, it was before and I missed it. I felt like such an ass. I'm losing my mind. The baking went swimmingly well and I was able to knock out about 9 dozen pfeffernusse cookies, 24 zucchini bread cupcakes and 2 loaves of zucchini bread. I was toying with the idea of making some maccaroons, but am too tired. I was up from 4:30 to 6:15 and went back to bed till 7 am. I have to get dressed..oh yeah and showered, so I can drop the stuff off at work (on my day off) for the bake sale. When I get home I have cleaning to do ... hmmm or play in the garden. It is absolutely beautiful out today. The paper said it should reach 72! Can you believe that? I went out front when Dave left for work and, much to my delight, there are some new flowers coming up..I forget what bulbs I put where. They might be red glads..what a fun surprise. Guess I'll just have to wait and find out. I found some really fun blogs in the wee hours and will be listing them later today. Its amazing how much time you can kill reading about other people. I guess its the voyour in all of us, though, that makes blogs so successfull! Please pardon any misspellings, I am working with half a brain right now. Stay off the roads...I will be behind the wheel of my Element soon. Peace

My Djinn is causing havoc!

Not only did I get a lemon, but its bruised! Now, according to folklore, everyone has a Djinn (or Jiin/Jin) who can be good or bad. It's supposed to be like a genie (the modern derivative) who coexists with our worldy self. Why, for Pete's sake, can't mine be in a better mood! Last week I was already a bit down because a very close family member has run amok of the law and will suffer the consequences. This has had me in a funk because it is someone I care very deeply for. For several weeks now I have been trying to muster up the courage to make the obligatory phone call regarding the situation...hasn't happened yet. Then a very close friend got very upset with me because of situation I unwittingly created by trying to mirror the main character in the fable about the father, son and donkey crossing the bridge and listening to everyone else. He ended up miserable and I ended up spending the night crying. Several days have passed since this transpired and I am still very heavy hearted about the whole incident. Last night Dave and I were on our way out and several fire engines and police cars flew by the house and proceded to pull up in front of my granmother's house, which is about a block away, but within eyesight. Thank goodness it was a small brush fire in an empty lot behind her house..but the seconds it took to run to her house seemed endless! Lastly we add to the mix a lovely bout of insomnia that has lasted for several weeks now. Every morning I am up somewhere between 3:30 and 4:30 am and cannot fall back asleep for at least an hour..this with a prescription sleep aid. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find something to do that is utterly without noise at that time of day? I am so tired of doing cryptograms to fall back asleep. Damn you Djinn! Behave or I'm trading you for someone elses! Now I am off to make some Pfeffernuese, Ricotta Easter Pie and Zuchinni Bread for a bake sale tomorrow at work. I am off tomorrow, but will drop it off anyway in the morning. I'll admit this is only because I work about 7 miles away from home :) Tonight we have a short service at church following by choir practice..I sound like someone is squeezing an angry cat! I can only pray someone drowns me out..it would be for the good of mankind. I beg anyone who is reading this to cross their fingers that the rest of the week turns out better. Tomorrow I hope to either plant my beds or finish tiling the downstairs bath. At the rate I am going I will probably get bitten by something in the yard or drop something on my foot.

Superbowl Season at Church

Wow! I cannot believe how incredibly busy we will be between now and Easter. I've been away from church from far too long and have suddenly found myself increasingly involved in our adopted church since we joined six months ago. I've also found out how much fun and work it can be. We have something going on every night starting Palm Sunday. Dawn, my neighbor, and I got guilt tripped into singing with the choir for Easter...and quiete honestly...we stink! But we had a lot of laughs in between the cat noises I produced last night. I swear the choir director Patty was scrunching up her nose directly at me with a very painfull look on her face. It hurt me more. My plan is to stand near someone really loud. A lot of the guys, mine included, were there this past Saturday digging a huge hole to erect a new sign out fron. It was at least 5' deep and 4' wide. I think dave has finally recovered. I had asked why we weren't in our local listings in the Friday services page and have found myself volunteered to handle it. A shout out to Amy at the Burlington County Times. Very nice person and awesome to work with. Hey can I say I'm published now? The really neat part is that everyone there is like minded about being generally nice people and helping others. Its great to be part of a group like that! I'm talking to them about getting a bunch of us together in the spring to go volunteer for a day at the South Jersey Food Bank. I plan on continuing to work with the Food Bank after my fundraiser at work, because I believe so strongly in what they are doing. They work with Second Harvest. They are the closest thing I could find locally to the SHARE of S. CA that I used to work with that is a reasonable distance to my residence. This is a win-win..I get to use my old fundraising and admin skills that have gotten dusty as well as learn new organizational and teamworking skills with a great group at church who have such wonderful combined talents from all different backgrounds. Couldn't ask for more. Yet the wheels still turn...what else can I do? I promise to annoy you with the answer..soon. Don't forget to visit

Repetition

REPETITION

The World Community Grid Rocks!

I have just signed up with the World Community Grid and it is awesome! Since signing on 3/31/06 up I have given 22 hours to the project. How cool is that! How Grid Computing Works Grid Computing: The BasicsGrid computing joins together many individual computers, creating a large system with massive computational power that far surpasses the power of a handful of supercomputers. Because the work is split into small pieces that can be processed simultaneously, research time is reduced from years to months. The technology is also more cost-effective, enabling better use of critical funds. Changing Our World NowGrid computing is not a futuristic technology. World Community Grid is at work right now applying this technology to exciting research projects that can benefit us all. Our first project, Human Proteome Folding, is identifying the proteins produced by human genes. With this information, scientists can understand how defects in proteins can cause disease, making it easier to find cures. In 2003, with grid computing, in less than three months scientists identified 44 potential treatments to fight the deadly smallpox disease. Without the grid, the work would have taken more than one year to complete. World Community Grid's mission is to create the largest public computing grid benefiting humanity. Our work is built on the belief that technological innovation combined with visionary scientific research and large-scale volunteerism can change our world for the better. Our success depends on individuals - like you - collectively contributing their unused computer time to this not-for-profit endeavor. Simply donate the time your computer is turned on, but would normally lie idle, for projects that benefit humanity. Like a screensaver, grid technology is easy to use, safe and free. When you are ready to use your computer, the grid software will shut itself off until the next time your computer is idle. To learn more, click on Become a Member. Or to start volunteering your PC time now, click the button below. (posted in March 2006) "Today we crossed a significant milestone. Our virtual community of World Community Grid volunteers has registered its 300,000th computer! It took us almost a year to reach 150,000 devices and we have gone from 150,000 to 300,000 in only 6 months. This pace reflects our members enthusiasm and commitment to the Human Proteome Folding and FightAIDS@Home projects! Congratulations and thank you for your contributions. We look forward to even greater accomplishments." Okay, starting this week I have just got to get back to the picture a day! At this point a slacker would call me a slacker. Dave and I have been doing yard work and spring cleaning lately, but flower time is just around the corner and I am already armed with my fuji finepix. Have an awesome day and don't for get to practice random acts of kindness. The Hunger Site